Lift
Lines- Questions to take your
marriage to higher levels
by
Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg
Just as ski slopes progress from bunny
hills to black diamonds, so conversation starters in marriage range from simple
to sizzling. But with greater risk comes greater adventure. So hit the
"slopes" with these questions on your next date and watch your
relationship take off!
Level 1: Put on those skis
·
What's
your favorite hobby?
·
Tell
me about the best vacation you ever had.
·
If
you won an all-expense-paid trip to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
·
When
do you feel most glad that you married me?
·
What's
the best compliment I could give you?
·
How
do you like to be pampered?
·
What
are your favorite hymns or choruses? Why are they your favorites?
·
What
one question do you want God to answer?
·
What
new Thanksgiving or Christmas tradition would you like to start this year?
·
Who
are your heroes or people you've looked up to over the years?
·
What
really gets on your nerves?
·
Do
I touch you enough? In what ways would you like me to physically show my love
for you in public?
·
What
stresses have you been feeling the last few months?
·
Did
your parents pray for you? What did that mean to you?
Level 2: The bunny hill
·
Do
you feel that I spend enough of my free time with you? What things cut into our
time together?
·
What
do you enjoy most about your life? What would you like to change?
·
Describe
two of your favorite memories of things we've done together.
·
What
types of little gifts would go a long way toward showing you how much I love
you?
·
Do
you think you spend most of your time doing what you're well suited to do? If
not, what needs to change? What would you most enjoy doing on a daily basis?
·
What
do you think your spiritual gifts are? How can you work at developing them? How
can I help?
·
Tell
me again how you became a Christian.
·
What
helps you grow closer to Christ? What things interfere with that process?
·
If
you could meet anyone in the Bible, whom would it be? Why? What would you ask?
·
How
well did your parents communicate?
·
Do
I say "I love you" enough? If not, how often should I say it? When?
Level 3: Intermediate slope
·
When
you were a teenager, how important to you was being popular?
·
Describe
some dream accomplishments for yourself at ages 40, 60, 80.
·
If
we were to read a book together, what kind would it be? Why? Should we make
that happen?
·
Do
you ever feel that I'm critical of you? How can I avoid that?
·
When
was the last time you cried? Why?
·
What
one thing that I do for you makes you feel truly loved?
·
What
are you learning in your times alone with God?
·
What
do you think it means to be "called" by God to do something? Have you
ever felt that calling?
·
At
what times do you feel overwhelmed? What can I do to help?
·
Do
I ever give you the silent treatment? If so, how does that make you feel?
·
When
we have an argument, does it seem as though I'm really listening to what you
say? Or am I more interested in what I have to say?
·
Do
you ever sense that I put conditions on my love for you? If so, what are the
conditions you feel I place on you?
Level 4: Rough terrain ahead
·
Describe
three ways we can enjoy each other more.
·
In
what ways do you look forward to growing old together?
·
How
can I be a better friend to you?
·
When
you try something and fail, how should I respond?
·
What
gives you the motivation to get up in the morning?
·
In
what areas of your life do you feel most insecure? What can I do to encourage
you?
·
What
can I do to help you bring out your natural talents and abilities?
·
Are
you satisfied with the time we spend together reading the Bible and praying?
What can we do together to meet each other's needs in this area?
·
Do
you ever have doubts about God's character? About the Bible? How do those
doubts affect you?
·
How
are we doing in terms of resolving our conflicts? What can we do better?
·
What
do you think "marital intimacy" means?
·
In
what three ways can I become a better listener?
·
When
are times when you especially need my love?
·
Is
there any emotional baggage we've brought into this marriage that needs to be
unpacked? Would that require professional help, or can we handle it ourselves?
In what ways can I help in this process?
Level 5: For experts only
·
What
do you think prevents couples from becoming (or staying) best friends?
·
Do
you trust me? If not, why not? What can I do to help you trust me more?
·
How
can we affair-proof our marriage?
·
Is
there anything about life in general or our current circumstances that
discourages or disappoints you? What can I do to help turn that around?
·
What
are some ways I can help you reach your full potential?
·
In
what ways am I encouraging you in your spiritual walk with God? What else could
I do?
·
How
can we improve our prayer life together? Individually?
·
Do
you think we're honoring God in the way we spend, give, and save our money? How
could we do better?
·
What
things can we do to help our children grow in their faith?
·
Do
you ever feel I'm more "at one" with my job, the kids, or a hobby
than I am with you? What makes you feel this way? How can I be more "at
one" with you?
·
Have
I ever broken your heart? If so, when? How could I have handled that situation
differently? What can I do to heal that situation?