Being a Righteous Husband and Father

Howard W. Hunter, “Being a Righteous Husband and Father,” Ensign, Nov. 1994, 49

1. Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God

2. A man who holds the priesthood shows perfect moral fidelity to his wife and gives her no reason to doubt his faithfulness.

3. A man who holds the priesthood has reverence for motherhood.

4. A man who holds the priesthood regards the family as ordained of God. Your leadership of the family is your most important and sacred responsibility.

5. A man who holds the priesthood accepts his wife as a partner in the leadership of the home and family with full knowledge of and full participation in all decisions relating thereto.

6. Keep yourselves above any domineering or unworthy behavior in the tender, intimate relationship between husband and wife. Any man who abuses or demeans his wife physically or spiritually is guilty of grievous sin and in need of sincere and serious repentance.

7. You who hold the priesthood must not be abusive in your relationship with children.

8. You who hold the priesthood have the responsibility, unless disabled, to provide temporal support for your wife and children.

9. A man who holds the priesthood leads his family in Church participation so they will know the gospel and be under the protection of the covenants and ordinances.

Read the entire talk here:
http://lds.org/ensign/1994/11/being-a-righteous-husband-and-father?lang=eng

Background: Funny story!

I find it amazing how often I quote President Howard W Hunter even though his tenure as the prophet and president of the church only lasted one year. His invitation for members to make the temple the center of our worship as well as inviting all to come feast at the table placed before us in the church was unforgettable.

But it’s this talk given in his first General Priesthood Session as a prophet that I strive to live up to. Not only was it a great sermon, but I have a funny story regarding it.

In 1994 I was serving as the bishop in the Edgehill First Ward in the Salt Lake Hillside Stake. Our stake president was a great man and mentor, Paul E. Koelliker. He presently serves as a general authority in the First Quorum of the Seventy. But back in the 90’s he was employed by the church as the Executive Secretary to the Presiding Bishopric. In our many leadership meetings and interviews, he would often share with us the counsel he had heard first hand while working full time with the brethren.

On one such occasion, he told us of attending a devotional where President Hunter shared some invaluable counsel regarding being worthy fathers and priesthood holders. As President Koelliker spoke, I took notes.

A few weeks later, I invited my younger brother Mathew to drive up from BYU and attend general priesthood meeting with me at our stake center. Imagine my surprise when President Hunter gave the talk entitled, “Being a Righteous Husband and Father”.

As soon as he started the list of attributes, I thought, I know these, in fact I have these! So I immediately opened my day planner and found my notes. Sure enough, this was the same list President Koelliker had shared with us earlier.
So I decided to have some fun with by brother.

I leaned over to Matt and whispered, “He is next going to say that we need to have reverence for motherhood”.

No sooner than I said that, President Hunter stated, “A man who holds the priesthood has reverence for motherhood.”

Seeing Matt’s reaction was priceless! Before he could ask me how, I quickly said, “Next he is going to say that the family is ordained by God.”

Sure enough, President Hunter stated, “A man who holds the priesthood regards the family as ordained of God.”

I can’t lie; I was busting my gut watching my brother’s incredulous reaction. I pulled the trick one more time before finally entertaining his question of how I knew what the prophet was going to say before he said it. And then I said something I shouldn’t be proud of.

I told my brother that I had been doing a lot of marital counseling as a bishop and had come up with a list of things I think the Lord expects from priesthood brethren regarding the family. I further told him that through some encouragement from my wife, I had written my thoughts down and had recently submitted them to the church magazines for possible publication.

Matthew was taking the bait hook, line and sinker. It was classic. I know I went too far when I mentioned how surprised I was that my article had drawn the attention of the prophet and furthermore how unbelievable it seemed that he would use it in his talk without so much as mentioning my name or how he came about it.

I unmercifully kept Matt on the hook throughout the meeting. In fact it was only on the way home that I finally came clean because I was laughing so hard I thought we might crash the car.

Stupid? I know.
Borders on blasphemy? Probably.
Hilarious? Definitely!